"Tolerating One Another" by Rev. Jillian Hankamer

Northminster Church
Nov 20, 2025
6 min read

Tolerating One Another

A sermon for Northminster Church

Preached by Rev. Jillian Hankamer

September 14, 2025

Ephesians 4: 1-16

In 1776, an amendment was made to edit the 16th article of the first draft of the Virginia Declaration of Rights. James Madison proposed the amendment, and although he’s now considered a Founding Father and went on to be our country’s fourth president, in 1776, Madison was only 25 years old. His age did not, however, keep him from suggesting a change that remains “possibly the most important piece of editing in the history of religious freedom.”^[1] He proposed to replace the phrase “all men should enjoy the fullest toleration in the exercise of religion” with “all men are equally entitled to the free exercise of religion.”^[2]

While this might not sound like much of a change, as author Michael I. Meyerson notes, “the difference between ‘toleration’ and ‘free exercise’ was revolutionary [because] by definition, the word ‘toleration’ implies a favored religion that deigns to grant permission for dissenters to worship.”^[3] Writing years later, another Founding Father, Thomas Paine, said, “Toleration is not the opposite of Intolerance, but the counterfeit of it. Both are despotisms. The one assumes to itself the right of withholding Liberty of Conscience, and the other the granting of it.”^[4]

The Virginia Declaration of Rights is important because it influenced later documents like The Declaration of Independence and the national Bill of Rights. So, conversations about tolerance and intolerance are woven into the fabric of our country.

These days, when we hear those words it’s usually in the context of food. It seems everyone has some sort of dietary restriction and is gluten or dairy-intolerant.

Several years ago, after completing a 15K, I asked my dad how he’d managed to finish multiple marathons and triathlons when I was a kid. Did he focus purely on finishing the race? Did he get in the runner’s high I’ve heard people talk about but never experienced? Did he enjoy the competition? His response surprised me. “Finishing a marathon or triathlon” he said, “is all about figuring out how much pain you can tolerate before your legs give out.”

I’m not here to cast judgment or to use the power of the pulpit to weaponize my own politics and opinions. But I would not be living into my calling if I didn’t say this past week should at least give us pause to wonder - no matter what side of the political divide you fall on - what role tolerance and intolerance play in decisions such as the ones made this week. And for that matter, what role do tolerance and intolerance play in the full spectrum of our modern zeitgeist? And how should we feel and respond as people of faith?

My point is this: it’s time for us to ask ourselves tough, uncomfortable questions about the role tolerance and intolerance are playing in our country and in us personally as people of faith who are also faithful American citizens. Because after several years of political and social upheaval in our country, we’re yet again in need of a pause. A pause in which we should ask ourselves if, in our tolerance and acceptance of some, we’ve become intolerant and exclusionary of others.

When you start trying to define and apply these words, they get slippery fast, so imagine my surprise to find the phrase “tolerate one another in an atmosphere thick with love” in The Voice bible translation. Most translations use the phrase, “bearing with one another in love.” The King James says, “forbearing one another in love” and in The Message, Peterson translates this verse as “pouring yourselves out for each other in acts of love.” But I have to tell you, I feel the command, “Tolerate one another…” to my bones because some days, my friends, that’s the best we can do.

Our Ephesians ancestors likely feel the same way because they are a diverse group of people living in a city that was ancient even as this letter is being written. “Ephesus in particular [holds] an important place in Asia Minor as a city of substantial population, the location of the great temple of Artemis, and the place where great Asian games are held.”^[5] This is a major metropolitan area of commerce and trade, where it’s not only potentially treasonous to think of anyone but the Emperor as a peacemaker, but where the worship of Artemis is rooted. Imagine living in such a place with all of its influences, cultural ramifications, and daily realities, and consider what it would be like to then have to “tolerate one another…”

And if that isn’t enough, the whole letter has been building to this chapter and “leads directly to the ‘architecture’ of this new life… [in which] believers are called to a unity that is created by and grows in love.”^[6] Rather than the familial loyalties and patronage obligations that make up much of the structure of their society, these believers are stepping into a radically new way of relating to each other. The adherences and rivalries they take for granted “as part of daily life in [their] political, social, religious, [and] financial economy” don’t exist for those inspired by God. What they’re being asked to do they’re is the difficult work of creating a unified body that isn’t related by blood or patronage.^[7]

Which is challenge enough and an obvious reason to remind these folks of the need to “tolerate one other…” But the challenges don’t end there. The author says in verse 11, “It was the risen One who handed down to us such gifted leaders - some emissaries, some prophets, some evangelists, as well as some pastor-teachers…” Not only must this group be prepared to set aside everything they know about how communities are formed, but they also have to do with the awareness that all sorts of people are going to have all sorts of roles, jobs, and responsibilities. The goal of God’s grace in calling them together isn’t uniformity but “a unity which reflects and serves God’s reconciliation of the whole creation in Christ.”^[8] And the lesson here for us is, as Brian Peterson says so well, “if we aren’t encountering and learning to love people who differ from us within the church, then something is wrong; this is not the healthy community that God desires.”

Gerhard E. Frost, a former seminary professor at Lutheran Theological Seminary, liked to say to his students, “‘We need each other’s differences.’ This was no mere nod to some fuzzy tolerance, but a tough-minded appraisal of necessity for diversity, no matter how difficult that might be for us in the church.”

During my first visit to the church I served in St. Louis - a secret visit in which I was there anonymously - a church member named Phil gave a testimony as part of a summer series. I wouldn’t remember him even speaking except that at the end he looked up from the page he was reading with the biggest smile on his face, said earnestly, “Don’t you see how good we are for each other?”

My friends, we are good for each other too. Our different approaches to living a life of faith, our differing abilities, our differing outlooks and opinions make us stronger. Our differences are “not divisions, and Spirit-given differences within the church are not a problem but are God’s good gift.”^[9] And as I said before, the reality of this community and any church community is that there are days when we’re doing well to “tolerate one another…” but let’s be very clear in understanding that toleration isn’t enough. Not for us and not for the church. Mere tolerance is tepid and bland, a cop out to the rich, spicy, always-enough-room-at-the-table inclusion Christ calls us to.

My friends, the Good News this morning is that we are called not just to tolerate but to unify. Not just to put up with each other but to embrace each other - differences of opinion, past hurts, political stances, generation gaps, and all.

And I’m going to take Brian Peterson’s quote from a moment ago and push it one step further and say, “if we aren’t encountering and learning to love people who differ from us within the church,” and outside the church, then “something is wrong.”^[10] My friends, our world needs us to be people who unify, not just tolerate. Our world needs us to be people who understand the beauty of our differences without seeing them as barriers. Our world needs us to create “an atmosphere thick with love,” not just here, but everywhere we possibly can. Our world needs us.