"A Distinct Lack of Peace" by Rev. Jillian Hankamer, 4/27/2025

A sermon for Northminster Church

John 20:19-31

I. Intro

-Consider being defined by a single evening of your life. A single reaction in a moment of grief. Imagine being defined by that story your family still brings up all the time.

-For me it’s the story of being a grape thief.

-Thomas is permanently labeled a 'doubter' by two millennia of history books, sermons, cartoons and theological treatises in the Christian tradition. 

-A cartoon by Joshua Harris has Thomas crying out, "All I'm saying is we don't call Peter 'Denying Peter.'"

II. Transition - is Thomas to blame for this label?

-”He made a reasonable statement in an unreasonable, once-in-a-lifetime resurrection situation.”^[1] 

–Second thing Jesus does outside of the tomb and after he talks to Mary in the garden is to scare the life out of the disciples  and greet them with the most ridiculous greeting ever offered in a moment of high emotion, “Peace be with you.”

-Takes place in a locked room.

-Disciples are frightened. The air in this room is “thick with anxiety.”^[2]

-Disciples huddled and hiding together in a tight room

-Shades are drawn. All the tissues have been used.

-Somehow Jesus gets through the locked door and after his ridiculous greeting he breathes on the disciples. “That's right…He opened his mouth and let them have it--three days' worth of empty stomach breath.”^[3]

-Now Thomas happens to be absent. We’re not told why. Perhaps he’s out assessing how much danger the disciples are facing.

-When he gets back to that still cramped, but now joyful transformed little room Thomas discovers that he’s missed seeing Jesus.

-And likely thinking his brother disciples have been overwhelmed by their grief he makes the statement that makes the most sense so far in this passage.

- "Until I see His hands, feel the wounds of the nails, and put my hand to His side, I won’t believe what you are saying.”^[4]

-Well aware of his own grief he clearly understands that the other disciples have seen what they want to see. No, their eyewitness report isn’t enough for this concrete, practical, man.

-And more than that, Thomas responds as most of us would - I need to see for myself! I need to touch Jesus. His death was so traumatic and horrible. I still can’t wrap my mind around the violence I saw. I will never erase the image of my beloved Teacher, broken and abused on a Roman cross from my mind. Now I’m scared for my own life and the lives of my best friends. My community. And I’m so sad. So forgive me, but I need to see Jesus for myself to believe he’s alive.

-Is this really such a crazy thing to ask for?

-Why do we so often see Thomas’ doubt as a bad thing rather than the most logical response to an illogical, impossible situation?

-Why do we condemn him for wanting to see to believe without stopping to give thought to the distinct lack of peace that permeates this entire story.

-Just as ridiculous as Gabriel telling Mary not to be afraid and the angels repeating that message to the shepherds in the field.

-It seems the story of Jesus’ life is bookended with the most ridiculous, understated, impossible commands!

III. What if we need Thomas to be doubtful so that we’re less uncomfortable with our own doubt? Do we need him to see ourselves in this story?

-We’re comfortable letting Thomas be defined by this single moment. This sermon won’t change that.

-But let’s be honest with ourselves that doubt is a normal and even healthy part of lifelong faith.

-If someone tells me they’ve never had a moment of doubt about God, never wondered what God’s up to, never considered this whole Christian thing might not be true I’m immediately wary.

-How can you be thinking critically about your faith and not have questions? How can you read the Bible and not wonder about its contents? For goodness sake it includes female bears killing a crowd of teenage boys and a talking donkey!

-How can you go through a divorce, lose a job, live through a pandemic, lose a child, etc. without having questions?

- Is a faith that can’t handle some questions, some flex and pull, and lots of gray areas even worthwhile? Can it last?

-Smart people:

“Doubt isn’t the opposite of faith; it is an element of faith… Sometimes I think it is my mission to bring faith to the faithless, and doubt to the faithful.”

– Paul Tillich, theologian

“Doubts are the ants in the pants of faith. They keep it awake and moving.”         – Frederick Buechner - writer, pastor, theologian

“Belief in God does not exempt us from feelings of abandonment by God. Praising God does not inoculate us from doubts about God.” – Eugene Peterson, writer of The Message

“Who among us has not experienced insecurity, loss and even doubts on their journey of faith?… We’ve all experienced this, me too.” – Pope Francis

IV. Transition: Story Does End with Thomas’ doubt - good news in text

-”Eight days later” John tells us Jesus appears to the disciples again, including thomas.  -”References from the Old Testament encourage us to consider the divine blessing and commissioning…”^[5] 

-”The eighth day is the fulfillment of priestly ordination, the day for dedication of the firstborn, a day to mark in circumcision the covenant relationship, a day of gratitude and offering.  Could it be that Thomas will be marked on this eighth day and commissioned for service?”^[6]

-Rest of Thomas’ story

-Goes on from this moment, this interaction to far outside the Roman Empire

-Tradition holds that he goes to India and starts multiple churches

-Among India's Christian believers, Thomas is considered patron saint of India to this day.These churches stand as testament to the 'rigorous alternative vision' of Thomas.

-His witness, his leadership and ministry wouldn’t have been possible without the doubt by which we most often define Thomas.

-Lisa Nichols Hickman, “He moved from feeble spasm to divine momentum with the humble confession, "My Lord and my God." The vitality of Thomas' testimony is lost when it ends at belief… Such clarity discredits the story.  In John's Gospel, belief is never static.  A person is always in the process of 'believing,' that is, leaning into belief in a broken world.  Easter faith is not about certainty.  The reality of Easter is the complexity of living anew in a broken creation.”^[7]

V. Good News

-Good News is that even in moments that lack peace Jesus appears and isn’t afraid or angered by our doubt.

-Just as important: Doubt isn’t just normal, it’s healthy, and can even be good for us because it can lead us to ask new and better questions.

-doubt can help us see a faith we’ve been part of for as long as we can remember from a new perspective.

-doubt is not something to fear, but rather something to embrace and make room for in our community because like Thomas it doesn’t have to be where our story ends.

-let’s remove the shame around doubt

 -There can be life beyond doubt, life after grief, and like Thomas we don’t have to be defined by a single moment in our lives. The promise of Christ’s resurrection, the Easter promise, is that Jesus comes back. Again and again and again.

^[1] Lisa Nichols Hickman, “John 20: 19-31,” ON Scripture.

^[2] Ibid.

^[3] The Rev. Peter W. Marty, “Believing is Seeing,” Day 1.

^[4] From The Voice Translation.

^[5] Hickman, ibid.

^[6] Ibid.

^[7] Ibid.